As a Xennial, who's likely past childbearing, I can share my experience. I grew up thinking that I would go to college, get a job, get married, have a 1-2 kids and stay home with them. I did the first two. I was active in my school alumni association, my church and other activities. And there were no single men anywhere. I have no idea where they went after college, but they were never around.
People have suggested that I should just adopt a baby. I'm traditional and think babies need both a mother and father. Also, it looks like a lot of work to do on your own.
Now I'm 46. I read articles like this, and I think I always planned to have kids but I have never found a partner.
If the women of America have for so many years been telling the men of America they are simply not good enough for them, I’m not sure why the decline in motherhood is a mystery.
A great article as per usual. One critical piece I think we are forgetting about is most women that want to be mothers prefer to have a husband. There is plenty of evidence that successful professional women are finding it increasingly difficult to find what they believe to be a marriageable men.
The challenge I believe many women face is they want to establish their careers prior to establishing their families, meaning women don’t even consider marriage and family until their late 20s/early 30s. Then, they often want to date a man near their own age and at least match their professional/financial accomplishments.
They are disappointed to find out, however that men their age of similar professional and financial value look for women who are younger than them, because men prioritize a woman’s youth, and fecundity over her professional and financial accolades.
I think we would see a very different story amongst women when it comes to motherhood if heterosexual romantic norms weren’t so misaligned, biologically and culturally.
I was listening to the radio this week, and a woman was talking about how she was walking through the park and she saw another woman pushing a stroller. She rushed over to the woman to look in the stroller but she was sadly disappointed to find that there was only a baby in the stroller, not the puppy she was expecting to see. “I have a dog.” - I pity the young people of today.
1. Children require housing and education, two things which have become relatively far more expensive than they used to be.
2. You're right that the joys of child-rearing are only visible once you have children, but it's hard to rely on parental testimony to know whether or not it's worth it, when we're only ever likely to hear from the parents who think it was. The ones who are willing to say otherwise are few and far between. Usually, their bitter silence is all we have to go by.
As a Xennial, who's likely past childbearing, I can share my experience. I grew up thinking that I would go to college, get a job, get married, have a 1-2 kids and stay home with them. I did the first two. I was active in my school alumni association, my church and other activities. And there were no single men anywhere. I have no idea where they went after college, but they were never around.
People have suggested that I should just adopt a baby. I'm traditional and think babies need both a mother and father. Also, it looks like a lot of work to do on your own.
Now I'm 46. I read articles like this, and I think I always planned to have kids but I have never found a partner.
If the women of America have for so many years been telling the men of America they are simply not good enough for them, I’m not sure why the decline in motherhood is a mystery.
A great article as per usual. One critical piece I think we are forgetting about is most women that want to be mothers prefer to have a husband. There is plenty of evidence that successful professional women are finding it increasingly difficult to find what they believe to be a marriageable men.
The challenge I believe many women face is they want to establish their careers prior to establishing their families, meaning women don’t even consider marriage and family until their late 20s/early 30s. Then, they often want to date a man near their own age and at least match their professional/financial accomplishments.
They are disappointed to find out, however that men their age of similar professional and financial value look for women who are younger than them, because men prioritize a woman’s youth, and fecundity over her professional and financial accolades.
I think we would see a very different story amongst women when it comes to motherhood if heterosexual romantic norms weren’t so misaligned, biologically and culturally.
I was listening to the radio this week, and a woman was talking about how she was walking through the park and she saw another woman pushing a stroller. She rushed over to the woman to look in the stroller but she was sadly disappointed to find that there was only a baby in the stroller, not the puppy she was expecting to see. “I have a dog.” - I pity the young people of today.
I'd point out a couple of things.
1. Children require housing and education, two things which have become relatively far more expensive than they used to be.
2. You're right that the joys of child-rearing are only visible once you have children, but it's hard to rely on parental testimony to know whether or not it's worth it, when we're only ever likely to hear from the parents who think it was. The ones who are willing to say otherwise are few and far between. Usually, their bitter silence is all we have to go by.
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/mothers-day/i-really-regret-it-i-really-regret-having-children/article1200668/