Tiger Moms, Grifters With Guns, Great Resignations, Low-Life Turkeys, High-Life Swans ... and Bari Weiss!
That Was Our November!
David Frum talking turkey on our Thanksgiving episode. Looks like neither the turkey or I are buying what he’s saying…
I’m writing this aboard a New York City-bound Amtrak train. I pause now and then to glance up at the passing beauty of bare forests and wintery views of the Delaware. (Sure there’s the odd smokestack and junkyard but there’s visual interest in those too.) En route to Washington, D.C.’s Union station during the morning rush hour, the taxi driver took a traffic-avoiding route that hugged the Potomac and then cut through the Mall. It’s easy to live in the nation’s capital and entirely forget what a spectacularly beautiful city it is — especially when you fail to tune out the political background noise.
The river was the soft color of a Farrow & Ball inky gray; the thin December light reflected the few remaining gold leaves dangling from silvery branches; boats were bundled up in their berths. Even the sight of the Capitol dome — which never fails to inspire — had a sleepy, if stately, air, seemingly indifferent to the heated arguments taking place beneath it.
Why so much talk about scenery and beauty? you may be wondering. Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about a comment from a listener, who wrote after an episode this month:
The question I wanted to ask is why do you think there’s so much anger around politics currently? I really don’t want to just say people are being duped but I also see a narrowing not a broadening on most political issues between the parties.
In 2004, around the time I graduated high school, there was a decent amount of political anger. Fahrenheit 9/11 was a blockbuster and Green Day’s American Idiot was constantly on the radio. At the time though there was an active war and a real conservative Christian in the White House. Today, the economy is relatively stable, we’re not involved in any large-scale wars, and the political parties seem relatively homogenous. On spending, taxation, abortion, entitlement reform, same sex marriage, international trade relations, corporate regulation, and foreign policy, the Republicans and Democrats are closer to each other than they have been since the 70s. So…other than COVID boredom why is everyone taking to the streets?
I disagree with the listener’s assertion that the two political parties seem relatively homogenous — that may be true for the widening center, but not in my life time have they seemed so radically opposed to each other! — but I take his point that we are living through a time when the collective impulse seems to be reflexively negative. Without downplaying the historical and tragic losses of the past 18 months, we seem to be emerging from the pandemic not kinder and more compassionate but, as the listener points out, angrier and even meaner than ever. Call it Callous Culture.
So this past November — which included Thanksgiving, the holiday in which we are supposed to take measure of our blessings — I was grateful to host two exceptional women: Yale Law professor and “Tiger Mom” Amy Chua, and former New-York-Times-editor-turned Substack tycoon Bari Weiss. Each has been the object of mass public hate campaigns, and have not only endured but survived them with grace. Whatever you may think of their politics or opinions, Amy and Bari have proven themselves as models of courage and strength in a time when those adjectives tend to be applied to those exhibiting the very opposite traits. I made the decision not to go the usual political route during the interviews, and instead focused on their personal stories (or “journeys”). How did they become who they are? And how do they stay calm when it feels like the whole world is hurling fireballs at their front doors??
I learned a great deal from Amy & Bari — including when it’s time to look up from our devices, take a breath, and appreciate the beauty of the passing landscape. It goes by so quickly.
I’m Tiger Mom, Hear Me Roar!
It's been a decade since Amy Chua's seismic book, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom, was published. Among other questions I had for her, one was: So how did all that tough parenting work out? Meanwhile, my retired co-splainer Christina Hoff Sommers was coaxed back from her Mah Jong gaming for a cocktail at the top of the episode. She was keen to riff on the controversy surrounding the recent Dave Chapelle special and more.
In this clip from my interview with Amy, she notes that in the three decades she has taught, she's never seen such a "dysfunctional" atmosphere on college campuses. Maybe the students could use more tiger mothering?
Our Double-Barreled Episode on Guns
Another fantastic female I was thrilled to welcome back to the program this past month was Shannon Watts, the pistol behind the grassroots organization, Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense. In her clip, she addresses the worrisome rocketing of gun sales during the pandemic — especially the personal kind of handgun families buy to "protect themselves." Turns out those guns aren't helping anyone stay safe.
Shannon was my “cocktail pairing,” so to speak, with NPR Investigative Reporter Tim Mak, author of the new book Misfire: Inside the Downfall of the NRA. In his clip, Tim reveals the cynical tactics the organization used to scare women during the 2020 election. And of special interest to Femsplainers was Tim’s fascinating story of how the male-run gun lobby was captured by a 20-something Russian honey trap.
The Great Resignation: Why Are Women NOT Going Back to Work Post-Pandemic?
Nearly 1.8 million women have dropped out of the labor force since 2020. I spoke to two female business leaders about WHY they don't want to return -- and what businesses (and women themselves) can do to seize this moment of reckoning to improve their lives. First up was Fran Pastore, founder and CEO of the Women’s Business Development Council. She’s also served on the President’s National Women’s Business Council (NWBC), an independent source of advice and counsel to the President, Congress, and the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA). In her clip, she explains how the failure to help working mothers is costing our economy billions -- let alone adding to the stresses faced by female employees themselves. That’s ONE reason they don’t want to return…
I was also joined by Delivering Happiness' CEO Jenn Lim, author of the new book, Beyond Happiness: How Authentic Leaders Prioritize Purpose and People for Growth and Impact. Lim is the former partner of the late Tony Hsieh, founder of Zappos, and an expert on how to improve workplace environments and employee mental health. Among many insights, she had a few words to say about GenZ.
Truman Capote’s Women: The High Society “Swans” He Loved and Betrayed
Babe Paley, CZ Guest, Lee Radziwill -- these wealthy, beautiful socialites defined an era and shared a friend in celebrated writer Truman Capote. I was joined by bestselling author Laurence Leamer, whose latest book, Capote’s Women, tells the delicious and fascinating stories of the swans. To their horror, Capote ultimately revealed their secrets and exposed the shallow brutality of their seemingly glamorous worlds in his short story, Answered Prayers, which he published in Esquire.
In this clip, Leamer describes what happened to the "Breakfast at Tiffany's" & "In Cold Blood" writer afterwards.
Becoming Bari Weiss: Was She Always This Way?
And rounding out the month, as mentioned Bari Weiss joined me for an intimate and far-ranging conversation about her life. How did she go from a self-described “nerdy Jewish girl” to a major media tycoon? In part, by rejecting labels about herself, as she says in this clip:
And for some Thanksgiving fun, my husband & Atlantic writer David Frum joined the same episode with Bari to talk turkey. Quite literally. Aside from being lambasted that week on Twitter for saying he preferred his turkey deep-fried to roasted, he also came out against Presidential pardons for turkeys:
The Femsplainers (& More David Frum!) on Andrew Sullivan’s “Weekly Dish” Podcast
Andrew blows pot smoke at David, who continues making his point unrattled. I’m getting dizzy from second hand smoke mixed with white wine, while Christina Hoff Sommers definitely needs more rosé.
In other news, I was thrilled to join our longtime friend Andrew Sullivan and Christina Hoff Sommers on Andrew’s wildly popular podcast. And who should crash the episode’s second half? That turkey-deep-frying husband of mine, who Andrew wanted to debate about Russian influence on the Trump administration. By this point David had the clear sober advantage despite my attempts to keep filling his glass with wine. I was ready to put on “Stairway to Heaven” — which was a hit the last time I was in a room so filled with pot smoke. When we returned home, we were grateful our grown children are no longer living with us. They might have grounded us!
You can listen to Andrew’s full podcast here.
We look forward to hosting another group of fabulous Femsplainers in December before we break for the holiday, including Ann Silvers, as therapist who specializes in female abuse of men. Yes you read that correctly — and it’s actually a big problem.
As always, thanks for listening!
KEEP UP! Follow The Femsplainers podcast on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Check out our videos on our YouTube channel. Find out more about us at our website. Find all our episodes on iTunes (don’t forget to “like” us!) and PodcastOne. Share your feedback with us at contact@femsplainers.com.