Immature Zers, Grieving GOPers, Feuding Royals & Mommy Brain
Despite all this, April was a month of hope
In April I celebrated a second birthday under COVID (well, it was my 58th if you must know, but my second “celebration” during a pandemic). During periods of mourning it’s common, whenever a significant occasion passes, to look back and say to yourself, “This time last year we were doing X or Y.” I think this is true of major historical catastrophes as well. The English summer of 1914 was said to be glorious — or maybe it just seemed more verdant, warm, and sunlit in retrospect after war struck. I came across a photo taken with my son on a visit to California in January, 2020: We were standing on the Venice Beach pier, grinning, with absolutely no idea of what was shortly to befall us.
All of us.
This year my Facebook memory popped up with a reminder of what we did last year (as an aside, does anyone else find the FB memory function a little stalky and mostly unwelcome? “Oh thanks FB for reminding me of how much I’ve aged in the nine years since I’d entirely forgotten about this photo”). My eldest daughter had returned home to shelter with us. She and her younger sister sweetly recreated a “restaurant experience” for my birthday meal (the restaurant theme was of course inspired by the fact we could no longer go to a restaurant). It was Early Pandemic. We were still Toilet Paper Warriors and spritzing mail with Lysol. We hadn’t yet heard of Tiger King. We were holding out hope that my youngest’s post-high-school-graduation trip might still happen. Hell, it hadn’t yet occurred to us that graduation wouldn’t happen. When we left the house, we dressed as surgeons about to enter an operating room. And down the street from us, sirens roared night and day carrying victims to one of Washington, D.C.’s busiest hospitals.
This year the gift I was most grateful for was the vaccine, the second dose of which I received three days after my birthday. Across the country, as more and more states emerge from their lockdowns, you can feel the rumble of a nation getting ready to party. It reminds me of the end scene of Sleeping Beauty, when the prince kisses the princess, and suddenly all the thorny branches retreat and the court awakens to a new day. Yes, the pandemic still rages in hot spots around the world and many of us (too many of us) emerge from it in sadness, mourning those we lost.
But maybe there is nothing sweeter than re-discovering joy after a long period of grief. Every emerging tulip, every opening bud, every coffee sipped in the company of strangers in a cafe, every walk taken barefaced … these are simple pleasures that once lost, you vow never to take for granted again. Until you do. Which means it’s really normal again. And that’s okay too.
Spring campanula now lines our busy street down which ambulances raced last year. My husband, David, and I immediately after receiving our second vaccine shot, wearing “V” hats gifted to us by a friend.
How to Be an Adult (Apparently There’s More to It Than Just Ordering Martinis)
Now on to a recap of our episodes from April in case you missed any! We kicked off the month with a public service episode for our younger listeners (and maybe their frustrated parents). We thought Millennials had problems growing up — but they are wise elders apparently compared to Gen Z. New York Times’ best-selling author Julie Lythcott-Haims joined me to explain why this younger generation is having such a tough time letting go of the apron strings. Her new book is Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, in which she tackles the issues created by a generation largely raised by helicoptering parents. It’s a companion volume of sorts to her previous book, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success.
Many fascinating insights to be gleaned from our conversation. And as a bonus, beloved co-splainer Christina Hoff-Sommers stopped by the top of the episode for a glass of wine to chat about, among other absurdities, octopus sex.
In this clip from the podcast, Julie warns that by giving our kids too much praise for doing regular things we are creating a generation that is constantly seeking approval and afraid of failure.
It's Still My Party & I'll Cry If I Want To
Just as we are all keen to get back to regular life, we may be even more keen to stop obsessing over politics. Cable news ratings everywhere are tanking since the January election. And in our Femsplainers studio/bar, we’re very happy to avoid politics altogether. Let the good times roll!
But before we lock that liquor cabinet (at least for now), I wanted to invite The Bulwark’s Sarah Longwell onto the podcast — not just because she’s a top commentator, but because her own story is so damn fascinating. Sarah's political journey took her from a conservative raised in rural Trump country to a top GOP strategist and openly gay Republican. She broke with the GOP over Trump's election but has spent the past three years researching why her party changed -- and what it bodes for the future. After thousands of hours of doing focus groups, Sarah offers especially interesting insights into the minds of female voters. In the clip below, she explains why some women fell for Trump (and still do).
I was also joined on that episode by our jolly co-splainer Meghan Cox Gurdon of the Wall Street Journal. Over yet another glass of wine at the top of the show, Meghan and I debated mask etiquette, the Woke war on classics, and more.
Poor Grievances & A Funeral: It's Our Royal Special!!!
As Prince Philip’s April 17 funeral approached, the world was still in a tizzy over the explosive Meghan Markle/Prince Harry interview with Oprah. Ok, so maybe not the whole world but certainly the world of avid Royal watchers, in which I include myself. My husband, David, has learned to adopt a patient if glazed expression when I begin going off on some recent shocking turn in relations amongst the Royal family. (I argue it’s only fair, since there are occasions when he insists upon talking about world economic policy.) But most of the time, I try to tamp this impulse down.
But as two colossal Royal gossip meteors collided — the Oprah interview and the Duke’s death, resulting in a nail-gripping fallout situation worthy of a Crown finalé — I could tamp it down no longer. The result was a rollicking interview with British author, journalist, and insider Rachel Johnson (yes, sister to Boris), who quenched my parched state with juicy details. We spoke right after the funeral itself, and addressed all its urgent themes: The return of the prodigal grandson; can the monarchy survive Wokeness; would Harry regret his squandered opportunities and broken relations, etc. And wait...did Rachel just say the Queen once told Meghan to keep acting?! Here’s a snippet:
Your Mommy Brain Is Real & More New Science on Motherhood
With sex generally considered “fluid” these days, women may question why they change so radically and in so many different ways from men after they have a baby. Maybe that’s because biology has its own agenda for us, one that has little to do with identity politics.
Enter Abigail Tucker, bestselling author and award-winning science journalist, with her new book Mom Genes: Inside the New Science of Our Ancient Maternal Instinct. Women don't just transform but undergo biological re-wiring when they become pregnant, Tucker reveals. Our brains become optimized for caring for, protecting, and loving, our newborns (even to the extent of, uh, liking their diaper smell), if at the expense of other skills (Who put the car keys in the refrigerator?). It’s a fascinating and surprising book, charmingly written, by this gimlet-eyed mother of four. Abigail was as charming and informative during our interview as she is on the page.
Say, How About Becoming a Friend with Benefits?
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Deals From Our Sponsors — Just in Time for Mother’s Day!
We're thankful to all the sponsors who support our podcast -- and even happier to pass along savings on great products to our listeners. And don't forget, every time you purchase from one of our sponsors you help support the podcast too! Links & deals in italics.
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And other sponsors this month included:
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Incoming for May: Mother’s Day Special with Sandra Tsing Loh PLUS Heather Heying, Coffee/Sex Shops (Really!) & More!
Some wild stories and interviews coming up. Don’t miss!
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